Surrendering - ALANIS MORISSETTE

Surrendering - ALANIS MORISSETTE

you were full and fully capable
you were self sufficient and needless
your house was fully decorated in that sense

you were taken with me to a point
a case of careful what you wish for
but what you knew was enough to begin

and so you called and courted fiercely
so you reached out, entirely fearless
and yet you knew of reservation and how it serves

and I salute you for your courage
and I applaud your perseverance
and I embrace you for your faith in the face of adversarial forces
that I represent

so you were in but not entirely
you were up for this but not totally
you knew how arms length-ing can maintain doubt

and so you fell and you're intact
so you dove in and you're still breathing
so you jumped and you're still flying if not shocked

and I support you in your trusting
and I commend you for your wisdom
and I'm amazed by your surrender in the face of threatening forces
that I represent

you found creative ways to distance
you hid away from much through humor
your choice of armor was your intellect

and so you felt and you're still here
and so you died and you're still standing
and so you softened and you're still safely in command

self protection was in times of true danger
your best defense to mistrust and be wary
surrendering a feat of unequalled measure
and I'm thrilled to let you in
overjoyed to be let in in kind

Utopia -ALANIS MORISSETTE

Utopia -ALANIS MORISSETTE

we'd gather around all in a room fasten our belts engage in dialogue
we'd all slow down rest without guilt not lie without fear disagree sans judgement

we would stay and respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and
enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and
open and reach out and speak up

This is utopia this is my utopia
This is my ideal my end in sight
Utopia this is my utopia
This is my nirvana
My ultimate

we'd open our arms we'd all jump in we'd all coast down into safety nets

we would share and listen and support and welcome be propelled by passion not
invest in outcomes we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference
be gentle and make room for every emotion

we'd provide forums we'd all speak out we'd all be heard we'd all feel seen

we'd rise post-obstacle more defined more grateful we would heal be humbled
and be unstoppable we'd hold close and let go and know when to do which we'd
release and disarm and stand up and feel safe

this is utopia this is my utopia
this is my ideal my end in sight
utopia this is my utopia
this is my nirvana
my ultimate

Fear Of Bliss - ALANIS MORISSETTE

Fear Of Bliss - ALANIS MORISSETTE

My misery has enjoyed company
And although I have ached
I don't threaten anybody
Sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you
Sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to
I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted
I've tried roadblocks and all
My happy endings prevented
Sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do
Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)
I could be golden
I could be glowing
I could be freedom
But that could be boring
Sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of losing you

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)

This talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down
Under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone
I could be full
I could be thriving
I could be shining
Sounds isolating
Sometimes I feel this is too good to be true
I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude
Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?)

Bent 4 U - ALANIS MORISSETTE

Bent 4 U - ALANIS MORISSETTE

You're unsure and you're not ready so that must mean I want you
You're unavailable and disinterested and to you I look for comfort
A million times in a million ways I will try to change you
A million months and a million days I'll try to somehow convince you
I have waited for you and adjusted for you and I'm done
I have deferred to you and enabled you and I'm done
You're too young or you're too old or you're simply not inclined
You're asleep or you're withholding be that my cue to crave you
Several times in several ways I'll try to squeeze love from you
Several hours and several ways I'll feast on scraps thrown from you
I have bent for you and I've deprived for you and I'm done
I have depressed for you and contorted for you and I'm done
I have stifled for you and I've compromised for you and I'm done
I have silenced for you and sacrificed for you and I'm done
It. won't be long before I am reclaimed
It won't take long and I'll be on path again
It won't be easy for us to disengage
I'm at the end of self deprivation stage
You're afraid of every woman afraid of your inner workings
You cringe at the thought of living under the same roof as me god and everything
A million times and a million ways I've tried to alter to match you
Several times every several days I've tried to uncrush on you

Sorry To Myself - ALANIS MORISSETTE

Sorry To Myself - ALANIS MORISSETTE

For hearing all my doubts so selectively and
For continuing my numbing love endlessly.
For helping you and myself: not even considering
For beating myself up and over functioning.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueller than I've been to me.

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable
For myself love being so embarrassingly conditional.
And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible
And for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

And
To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueller than I've been to me.

I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

For blaming myself for your unhappiness
And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was.
Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready,
And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be.

To whom do I owe the first apology?
No one's been crueller than I've been to me.

And
I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else.
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.

Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest ?
Forgetting you or forgetting myself...
Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter,
I would've naturally loved the former.

For ignoring you: my highest voices.
For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.
For being so disassociated from my body,
And for not letting go when it would've been the kindest thing.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?
No one's been crueler than I've been to me.

And
I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else.
I'm sorry to myself.
My apologies begin here before everybody else
I'm sorry to myself.
For treating me worse than I would anybody else